This is what it's all about...

This morning, I completely forgot I had to be out of the house by 7.00 to bring Vicky to her leadership class - despite the fact I have been doing this every Tuesday since September! So out I flew, still warm from bed - threw on my coat over my pyjamas - and away we went.

As we neared the school, we passed Lake Hill Elementary school. We pass this school every day as it is just beside St. Margaret's. However, today it was different - why? A circle of colour in the morning sky rested like a halo above Lake Hill - it simply took my breath away - quite unexpected. It was a profusion of the most beautiful shades of pink - fuschia, magenta and baby pink all delicately woven together with ribbons of gossamer, and sprinkled with fairy dust direct from heaven.

It was all very poignant because yesterday was also the 1st anniversary of the savage slaying of Lindsay Buziak, a stunningly beautiful Realtor - stabbed to death while showing a home. She was only 24 years old, bubbly, vivacious, and full of the joys of life. A year on, and still nobody has a clue who did it.

I thought of Lindsay especially this morning because Lake Hill Elementary is where she spent her childhood years. She would have happily swung from those same monkey bars I pass every day, and she would have raced down the slides with glee. A lively and effervescent little girl with a big smile and a big heart. Now the playground that once echoed her happy laughter was eerily silent (I guess it would at 7 in the morning!).

Her mother would have driven on the same road that I do every morning, and probably like me, would have had to fly out of the house in pyjamas to bring Lindsay to ballet class, and girl guides and all the things little girls do. They would have passed that same enormous weeping willow tree every morning - the one that gets a hair cut every Spring and probably wondered like we do - why on earth would anybody give a willow tree a blunt trim? - the limbs are supposed to hang down sadly - hence 'weeping willow'.

A year on, and I still think of Lindsay every time I pass Lake Hill school - I don't know why as I did not know her personally - but then look at the tomb of the unknown soldier in Paris - nobody knew him - yet his spirit lives on.

In the ten minute spin to and from the school, we also pass another poignant spot where two years ago, a 22 year old boy was knocked down and killed by a drunken driver as he stood on his skateboard waiting for the lights to go green. His parents keep his picture on the pole near where he was standing. Every day we pass that spot - sometimes four times a day, and we always say a prayer for the boy we call 'the skateboarder'. Recently I found out his name was Jason as curiosity brought me over to see his photo. He was a tall, handsome, fine cut of a lad with a big generous smile. Every day hundreds of kids pass by the spot where he died, as it is just beside Reynold's High School.

When I see the kids passing the place where he died, and laughing and especially at christmas time, I cannot help but think of him, and how he never got to live out his dreams. Like Lindsay - was it all meant to be? And what about Phil, another kid shot to death by a 16 year old kid after a silly row in a club this past summer. Phil was in second year psychology - just like our Ali. He was the only son of hard working Philipino emigrants. His father remembers teaching him how to drive when he was only 2! Phil was keen to turn the steering wheel all by himself. One day Vicky was buying a pair of jeans in American Eagle, where he had a part-time job and it was Phil who served her, with a smile - like his father before him, he was a hard worker and driven to succeed.

Fast forward to now - all three are dead - gone like dust in the wind...a sobering thought. Aged 20, 22 and 24 - and not another day more.

Man what a downer today's blog is!! - quite different from yesterday's - eh! I had no idea what was going to come out of me today - this is it folks - sorry if you find it depressing - It is depressing! Seeing Lindsay's smiling face all over the papers yesterday made me think of her and then seeing her school all lit up from heaven this morning, further drove home the message of the Transcience of Life...

I guess for me the moral of the story is - Life is a Bitch - You REALLY REALLY REALLY have to love your children, every second, every minute, and every breath of their existence - because youth is no guarantee of life...which brings me back to the point of this whole exercise - which is to try to simplify my life. You have to love your life and whatever it takes...do it!

The whole purpose of YOSA came back to me today when I opened up a page in Sarah Ban Breathnach's book - 'A Daybook of Comfort and Joy' - one I would highly recommend to everybody.

This is an excerpt - 'The Gratitude Journal' (January 14th)

'Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow...

On that lovely thought, I shall bid you all goodnight...sleep tight.

Patricia xxx