Simple Abundance Me Ass - What was I thinking?

Some mornings I wake up and cannot remember what day of the week it is. I'm like the late Spike Milligan in that regard - if I recognize my surroundings it's all I ask, and I'm happy to be still alive. This morning...what can I say - I even knew before I awoke it was the dreaded Wednesday. Today's Wednesday was even more Wednesday-ish than normal if there is such a thing. By 9.00 a.m. there was enough drama packed into the day to last me all day and for the rest of the week.

Boy Scout Kevin was up at the crack of dawn and woke me up at 6.45 am with the coffee. He had broken my rule of no coffee before 7.00 am weekdays and none before 8.00 am weekends! He had been out in the gym at some ungodly hour and was full of the joys of spring. He puts the dogs out to do their business and then comes back and throws Lulu on my stomach like she's a 2 lbs. bag of potatoes - that woke me up! When I looked at the clock and saw it was not even 7.00 a.m. I knew I knew I knew - it was going to be one of those days!

Next I discover that Lulu or Chi-Chi had done a number on my La Senza favourite pink dressing gown that the girls gave me for Xmas. It wasn't just an 'ordinary' number. This was so unusual for them - only once did Lulu do a number in the bed - my reaction was such she never did it again. My favourite dressing gown had fallen off the bed during the night and was on the floor and all I can think is that the culprit must have thought it was a newspaper! The reason I didn't hang it up was because I got to bed so late ironing 20 shirts. I always leave it until Kevin is looking for me to sew on a button on a shirt. Then I know he's down to the last two.

I ironed at least 20 last night - enought to last 3 weeks. So that's why my dressing gown was at the end of the bed and not hanging up - The brats are paper trained which is why they must have thought my dressing gown was paper. Another thing - the 'culprit' must be mad at me since I haven't bought the 'Chewrifics' for a while now. That could be it too...They don't call them bitches for nothin'. Like roosters, they have to work on earning the title!

Over coffee Kevin was delirious about his new hero 'Bill Cullen' - Ireland's answer to Donald Trump. The owner of 17 companies, a self-professed workaholic, 66 years of age with the body and mind of a 26 year old! Bill is up every morning at the crack of dawn and goes into the gym...so that explains!!

After listening to him being interviewed on radio last week, Kevin admires him so much. One of 14 children and raised in a one bedroom tenement in the back streets of Dublin, Bill was always a cheerful worker. His first job was working for a car company. His hours were supposed to be from 8-6 and instead he went in from 6-8 - "That's the way to do it - Bill's your man - Simple Abundance me ass - go out and spend a week in the cat's shed and tell me how you like it! - simple abundance - me ass - I know you - you're barking up the wrong tree - you like the good life too much - if you get a windfall in the morning, I know what you'll be doing - you'll be saying Simple Abundance me Ass - get me down to Chintz and La Senza and Winners!" - He knows me! The man knows me!
Wonderful - and it was still only 7.15 a.m.

"The secret to life is Work Hard - Spend Hard - Play Hard - and enjoy your life. All this SA krap is for lazy bum Gigolos who don't want to work, and want to spend the day rejoicing in the way the sunlight casts rays upon your hair - and get you off to work woman". - That's my Man! - All Aries Male - every bit!

Wonderful! and it was still only 7.20 a.m.

I had to be up early as 'The Bed' was being delivered at 8.30 a.m. In prep for the bed I had to do the usual 'Charlie' routine - vacuum downstairs and check for chihuahua droppings - even though I know where they dropped them this morning! Though I discovered some near the t.v. - b.....s! I think it would be a good idea to reinstate the Chewrifics.

I got dressed this morning - not the usual pj job - and off we flew to the schools to be back by 8.30 a.m. I was back before then to discover - as I knew I would - that the delivery fellows would be waiting for me. They were. I told them to bring the van over to the side as it would be easier to deliver the bed through the back garden and that way they could avoid the stairs. They were grateful for my consideration - drove the big-opened-ready-to-deliver-de bed van around the side and THEN I discovered that hubby had all the gates locked like Fort Bloody Knox - what was he thinking? We're not quite at Bill Cullen's level yet!

I ran inside to look for the keys to unlock the gates - could not find them - was cursing - can you imagine - the fellows waiting outside. This had happened before with the gardener and Kevin showed me where he kept the key. (The gardener had to take the whole bolt apart and put it together again). The key wasn't where it was supposed to be, so the poor fellows had to walk all over the place with the heavy bed - the front door and stairs would have been a lot easier!!

The bed is for Claudia's room as she did not have a proper one. "That's my point about all this SA nonsense" Kevin so rightly pointed out. "It's not just an ordinary bed you got - it's a bed fit for Cleopatra. What happened to Simple Abundance?". He's right - the man is right - However, Claudia and I did the rounds on the internet to source a nice bed - the ones on Ikea looked o.k. but were, like all Ikea stuff we have bought in the past - too cheap and cheerful for our taste. Claudia is Libra - For Gosh sakes - what do you expect! - she has impeccable taste - the bed is for her - it is a bed for life!

The good news is the bed was cheaper than the Bay where we looked first - we thought we could sensibly use all our hundreds of dollars worth of vouchers to buy one there - nice try except it did not work. Their beds were for 'Grannies' as Claudia so correctly remarked - dark and gloomy - could picture a corpse being laid out on them.

Then on to 'Chintz' - my idea of Heaven! I was shaking with pleasure at the thought of a visit there - had not been there since the YOSA year began. Too risky...given my track record!! Oh my Lord! it was even more heavenly than I remembered - divine in fact - jewels from Egypt and the far corners of Afghanistan-Bananaastan, glistened from glass cases and teased the hell out of me "Buy me, I'm yours baby" "No over here" a gorgeous chintz couch yelled "I'm all yours and a great price too". I know it would look fab in the front room to replace the dog's disgusting one...Damm...get me to the beddery..quick!!

We got there to discover by pure luck the most beautiful bed I had ever in my life seen - and at a steal of a deal (they all say that I know) but compared to the stuff we had seen elsewhere - it was a great deal. A clearance item because of a little scratch in a place you would not even see. It is a sleigh bed, queen size in my favourite wood of all - burl - from the old french word 'bourle' which means tuft of wool. It has varying shades of colour - light and dark wood and has a very nice pattern from the way they applied the veneer. The bed is divine and looks very old as if it came straight out of Louis IV's palace in Paris - that's my Claudia! As long as she's not looking for a prince to join her!! I'm o.k.

So now you can understand why Kevin says "SA me a!"

By 9.00 the bed was installed until they discovered that they were missing two very important bolts for the base - I'm sitting here waiting for somebody to return with the bolts ...to take the bed apart again...to put them back in. But why did those nice fellows put the bed together knowing they were missing the bolts and that the bed would have to be taken apart again? Beats me.

Told you I didn't like Wednesdays...Wednesday happened before I even said a word...It's just doing its own thing.

10.20 - still no sign of them. I had to cancel a coffee morning with some nice girls this morning because of this bed. We will do it next week instead. I have to be in to the office early today as I have to leave early because I have the two rides today - the hospital run with Vicky which I dread - up and down that lunatic motorway where they have no manners, and are all worse drivers than me - then after that I have to rush home, make a quick sandwich for the car and then bring Claudia to Confirmation class. I will study the book in the office when I get in - when and IF I get in - still waiting on the bolts...

So that's the rest of this wonderful Wednesday...and whatever happens in between...

Still no bolts...Kevin went off to work early singing Molly Darcy's favourite song (Molly Darcy being Bill Cullen's mother) "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery...live for today". I would - if it wasn't a bleedin' Wednesday!!

Love ya. Be good to yourselves!!

Delisha xxx