You're never too old...!!

The other day I decided to return to my old gym. It's been so long since I visited them - a bit like my last confession in that regard. With the 10k walk coming up on the 26th April the pressure is now on to get fit. Besides I still have membership in the gym until the end of May. Foolishly I took out a 2 year membership with a friend and then as soon as we began to pound the treadmill together - Murphy intervened - she got a full time job and I began to work in the office with Kevin and that was the end of that! So essentially I've been paying for nothin' for the past two years - hate that! It takes a bit of the sting out of it when I remind myself that my friend who joined up with me is an accountant and very sensible with money - so we're in this frustration together.

What's even WORSE and further adds to my shame is the fact we have a fully equipped home gym out in the garage complete with treadmill, exercise machines, t.v. music sound system, mirror and loudspeakers! It's disgusting I know - I should be the fittest person in the world - there is absolutely NO EXCUSE. At least Kevin uses it - phew! that's takes the sting out - a bit at least. I even paid a personal trainer to come in and show me how to use the machines in our home gym and what happens? - nothin' - that's what happened.

It gets even more insane...here I am with membership in an excellent gym...a fully equipped home gym out in the garage and then what do I do? Yes - the insanity to get fit intensified - I took private weight training sessions with super fitness guru Sherry who has enticed me to do the 10 k walk. It was the best for last - that's for sure. The problem with the other two was I found it next to impossible to 'do it' unless somebody was expecting me - if you get the drift - life gets in the way! Then of course I started the YOSA year and questioned all my fiscal insanity - the exercise thing stood out as being a classic example of how I was messing around and making an ass of myself.

So the guilt about wasting all that money, and the thought of the 10k ahead was enough incentive to get me back to both the home gym and the paid gym - both at the same time. It was in the HG that I was listening to Pink the other day and it was in the PG that I encountered a remarkable woman last Saturday. I had just walked the chip trail and was feeling full of the joys of spring, so decided, on the spur of the moment to pay a visit to my long lost paid-for-gym. It was like I never left - I keyed in, and the cheery voice on the machine said "Enjoy your workout". I answered back to the invisible woman "I'll do my best" and in I went.

I tried not to LOL (laugh) when I found myself alone with two women - one lady was a Mennonite as you could tell from her dark clothing. She must have been sweating profusely (which is the object of the gym after all!) - as she rowed away to God's knows where on the rowing machine dressed in a long black heavy woolen dress with strange head gear and clunky walking brogues. In fairness to her she was doing better than me! The other lady was remarkable - an 85 year old by the name of Ruth (who was far fitter than me - that's the LOL part!).

The two of us got chatting and that was the end of that - I did no work out apart from one or two machines. Ruth had responded to my smile and began talking like as if we were best friends. She was so lonely and at the end of our little chat asked me if I would like to meet up for a coffee one day - so now I have a new friend! She told me in a nice motherly way that I was not using the machine properly - which is true I wasn't - and that if I went too fast, I could do myself an injury. Easily known she used to be a teacher! She suggested that I invest in some private lessons to really get to know the machines. I didn't tell her that I felt I had 'invested' enough money already on exercising! She would have been shocked.

Ruth is an artist in her spare time, volunteers in her church and attends the gym 3 times a week. She drives her own car and is not against falling in love again. She was widowed some years ago and was just about to marry her husband's good friend, when he died too some 3 years ago!

Ruth had lots of other amazing life lessons to teach me such as - persistence is the mother of miracles - the importance of putting a luggage tag on your walking cane - no matter what life throws at you, just keep on going - that exercise keeps you mentally alive - and best of all that 'You're never too old!' She had had a tough life, with many health problems and her youngest child was knocked down and killed when he was only 6 and stuff she did not want to 'burden me with'.

She left her home in Ontario when she was 15 because her father detested the snow and horrible climate. When they sold their home she single-handedly painted the inside and outside of their 8 roomed house before coming out to Victoria in 1939. They packed all their possessions into a little box and away they went just like the pioneers you read about in stories - except this one was real! They arrived to a little shed in the middle of nowhere on Vancouver Island with no running water, no electricity. Her mother bought a piano for herself and her sister. They were home-schooled, going into the nearest big town to sit exams. Ruth and her sister used to perform little piano recitals and entertained themselves with - need I say - Simple Abundance!! Hello! Sound familiar?

O.K. I do not want to live in a shed in the middle of nowhere with no electricity or running water. It's just the way her eyes misted over when recalling the happiness of her life back then when everything was so simple and unspoilt - close to nature and making your own music.

Sure I know I didn't use the gym the way it was intended to be used - but I've got a new friend and a brand new attitude now!!

Cheery Billy Bye and remember...You're never too old!

Do something nice for yourself today.

Patricia Delisha xxx

So What...!!

na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na na na

I guess I've just lost my husband
I don't know where he went
So I'm gonna drink my money
I'm not gonna pay his rent (nope)
I got a brand new attitude
And I'm gonna wear it tonight
I'm gonna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight
Na na na na na na na na na na na
I wanna start a fight
I wanna start a fight

The waiter just took my table
And gave it to Jessica Sim.....(shit)
I guessl'll go sit with drum boy
At least he knows how to hit (whoops)
What if this song's on the radio?
Somebody's goin' to die
I'm gonna get in trouble
My ex will start a fight
He's gonna start a fight
We're all gonna get in a fight..

Na na na na na na na na na na na


So picture the scene, I'm listening to Pink yelling out the above song - I'm playing it over and over again and by the time Pink and me have finished letting off steam, I've worked off 20 mins. on the treadmill at 5.2 speed. I could not have done it - seriously - without the help of my new songstress Pink. Yeah! So what if she's a little on the aggressive side - you need that you keep you motivated on the treadmill.

But - you'll agree it is a far cry from 'Singing in the rain' and 'A spoonfull of sugar' and 'Let's go fly a kite'...As I'm listening to Pink on my i-pod I'm watching top chef Gordon Ramsey's 'Hell's Kitchen' on the t.v. Between listening to Pink and watching Gordon, things, are getting pretty steamy. Gordon is effing and blinding at the poor chefs who are about to get the chop - if you'll excuse the pun! Prior to that they were all working hard in the kitchen, sweating profusely and then my memory recalled the poor girl in Subway the other day being lacerated by a customer because her tuna scoops were miserable. So what Gordon if somebody can cook scrambled eggs with seafood better than somebody else? Next Gordon sends his trainee Chef off in disgrace and he has to walk up a corridor of shame but not before being given a bleep bleep from Ramsey just to further tell the chef he is a loser. We see the failed chef's picture appear on the screen and then a flame burns it away - he's gone - never to return. This is 'Hell's Kitchen' after all!!

Along then comes the charming chef Emeril from the 'Emeril Live' show. Emeril is Italian and I would say his charm far surpasses the grub he produces. But he is charming and everybody loves Emeril - He is rather stout and obviously enjoys eating and making merry. Emeril feels sorry for the rejected chefs in his reality chef show, so gives them all a copy of his new book as they leave the show. But before he gives them the book he puts it up to the camera so we can all see the title of it - Good man Emeril - that's what I call Show Biz!!

Everyday of the week, there is a reality show on t.v. We follow American Idol. We also watch 'Dancing with the Stars'. Then there is America's top Model show - top Hairdresser reality show - top Dress Designer reality show - Top Scientist reality show - top Singer reality show - top Dancer reality show...top Interior Designer reality show - you name it and there is one out there. The problem I have with these programs is the systematic humiliation that the rejected ones have to suffer when they fail the challenge. Is it really necessary to be so horrible to these unfortunates? Simon Cowell is legendary for that and even though it is ha ha ha stuff Imagine how you would feel if he said to you "You've just blown the biggest chance of your life - a million dollar opportunity - you've just blown it because of your appalling choice of song, and sorry but I don't like your outfit either - you need to lose some weight - I'm only being honest because somebody needs to be honest with you...I mean PLEASE...

I guess it hits close to the bone for me because I'm going to be facing all that rejection and possible humiliation when my book comes out in a few weeks time and every time Simon is chewing them out of existence and spitting them off the planet, somebody will do the same to me
the only difference is that the whole world will not be watching it on t.v.!! Can you just imagine the balls you'd want to have, to get up there in front of the world, and then have to face Simon Cowell after you have been watching his face screw up like a constipated dog. Weird as it sounds all those young hopefulls on 'American Idol' are my heroes. If they can do it - so can I!!

This past week in Victoria we had some really nasty murders, but it's even worse in Vancouver where violence is really escalating. A young 20 year old girl was pushed in front of a bus here in Victoria and she died later from injuries. The guy who did it apparently was a very nice fellow!!

Listening to Pink and watching all these sadistic reality shows - I wonder if they are part responsible for all the violence? I mean if you are listening to stuff like 'Just a spoonfull of sugar' and 'let's go fly a kite' and watching Gene Kelly singing in the rain and Doris Day on t.v. would you still want to go out and push somebody in front of a bus?

Just a thought...

Love y'all - Do something nice for yourself today!

Cheery Billy Bye...

Patricia Delisha xxx

The future is friendly...

Yee Haw! At least that's what the Telus truck in front of me said this morning as I was driving to my dentist appointment - they could have fooled me! On another dirty van somebody had scribbled the words 'I love you'. As you know these are all messages from my angels. Nice start to the day, especially since I made up my mind to stop hating Wednesdays and just - get on with it! Yes today I had made up my mind to embrace Wednesday with positive ideation and dare I say - joy! It wasn't me who said 'Wednesday's child is full of woe'.

It was a gloriously sunny spring day outside, the birds were happily twittering on the trees and all around the garden, new life was appearing. Clusters of snow drops have taken up residence at the base of our old oak tree. I never noticed them there before. The snow drops are just so pure and beautiful and delicate. They have an innocent quality about them and remind me of the little kids in our confirmation class.

The thing about Wednesdays is that I get a lot of work done and at the end of the day I feel I have achieved something for my efforts. I have deduced it to the fact that Wednesday is Virgo's day - ruled by the planet Mercury, which is a busy busy planet. On the other hand Thursday, my favourite day of the week and also my lucky day, is ruled by Jupiter the largest planet in the solar system and that happens to be the day I feel the greatest urge to eat, shop and be merry.

My mouth is still frozen up from the dentist - Dentist Again? I can hear you say and you would be right. The last two visits were only for fun, poking around my mouth and thinking and wondering, but doing nothing. Tooth #17 still acts up from time to time and we still haven't got to the root of the problem - if you'll excuse the pun! Well today my nice friendly dentist got some action going and replaced two old fillings - Hell! one was the wisdom tooth - two doors down from #17. It was impossible to get at it and my jaw was killing me trying to 'open wide as much as you can'. To add to my horror I knew I wasn't properly frozen as he had only left it set for a second. So they had to double on the freeze and give me another needle. I felt guilty telling them I wasn't properly frozen as time is money to these folk. I also reminded them I had 3 babies without epidurals and that I'm not normally a wimp when it comes to pain.

As I was leaving the dentist studio, I told them my mouth felt really fuzzy and when I opened wide, we discovered why - the assistant had accidently left the cotton wool in my mouth. So I wasn't lying about feeling fuzzy!!

I had made an appointment for the computer man to come by this evening to put my book on disk form - I should know how to do that. Then I realised that I have the confirmation class so had to cancel. Don my computer guy is an interesting fellow. An eligible bachelor in his early 50's I would think. He lives alone with his widowed mother and is a lonely type of fellow. He really loves family life - I know that because he prefers to come in to our home to fix the computer rather than the office. He likes the girls running around the place and music and the dogs and the smell of food. I can tell. Once we weren't there when he came to fix Kevin's computer and apparently he seemed very disappointed "where's all the family" he asked. You wouldn't think he noticed because when he comes around he sits in front of the computer
for hours with a blank and vacuous expression on his face. The girls think "He is Weird!"
I guess he is, but he never overcharges us, in fact he is incredibly cheap which is why I always give him a big Xmas basket - because he deserves it.

He also deserves a woman - and the thing is - I have 'the perfect woman' in mind for him. She is tailor made for the man - looks after her widowed elderly father - is in the same age bracket - is mad for a man - she loves to cook and would adore to have a family and wants to go to the Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival and to check out her Irish roots. The problem is how do I introduce them? - every time I see either one, all I can think of is that they each deserve some happiness in life - I've done the name thing and her christian name and his surname go very well together. Anyways - I did try! I gave her his name as being great at fixing computers!! If there is any news I'll keep you informed...

On that hopeful note, I'll say cheery billy bye.

Look after yourselves and remember 'The Future is Friendly'.

Trisha Delisha xxx

Yes, I know where you're coming from...

Dear Viv & Jim,

Re. Slumdog Millionaires and Boy in Striped P.J.'s

I didn't see Slumdog Millionaires but the girls did and they enjoyed it. Interesting that you found it so depressing with all the doe eyed street kids begging to be adopted. That is what started me going on the YOSA year. I saw a similar programme on t.v. and it really really got to me. I began feeling guilty splurging on fun stuff knowing there were kids out there suffering and starving. The two little sisters really touched my heart with their courage and will to survive and their efforts to make something of their lives. Their parents both died from aids and they lived alone in a mud cabin. It was their faces - those haunting eyes - I could not get it out of my head.

As for 'The boy in striped P.J.'s - now that I could not handle at all. Claudia was in tears when reading the book. I hate anything to do with Concentration Camps or suffering or wars or anything like that. Kevin can watch them and it doesn't seem to bother him but I find them way too upsetting which is why I never watched certain movies like 'Schindler's List'. The last one I saw like that was 'Sophie's Choice' with Meryl Streep and I promised myself - never again!!

I'm thinking of going to see 'Confessions of a Shopaholic' - maybe it is too close to the bone!!

Cheers and hope Valentine's Weekend was all roses and sweetness for the most part. On Valentine's Day we passed the Cathedral and there was great excitement. I later discovered why - 5 Filipino friends were all getting married at the same time! It was a 'first' for Victoria. They met as nannies and became good friends and all shared in the wedding festivities. Now that is what I call a good idea! Wonder did they go on honeymoon together?

Cheers and Slainte to one and all xxx

Patricia Delisha xxx

No fire without a spark...

Thank you Sherry Ulaszonek from One to One Fitness for being the spark today! If you truly want to be fit in your life - there is no excuse with somebody like Sherry around! Sherry, God bless her faith in me...suggested I join her team to do the 10k walk in late April. I said yes...without thinking of course (we roosters do impulsive things and apparently make wonderful soldiers). So this morning I was to walk with the walkers in the beautiful Beaver Lake Park, but woke up with a burning fever and sore throat and said 'Oh no - the flu I had for most of January is back again to haunt me - typical! Now Sherry will think I'm chickening out!! (she would have only been 25% correct). I was sick. Anyways since I like Sherry, I got dressed in the fever, but took so long I had to phone Sherry and explain. Felt so guilty and being already dressed to walk, I borrowed Kevin's 1-pod with exercise music and off I went to the Chip Trail, my piece of heaven.

The weather was simply glorious but the trail resembled the Bay on Boxing Day - it was packed - with 10k hopefuls I suspect. I did my 3 mile walk and am now back and in a sweat - but a good sweat. It was the first time I was back on the trail since before Xmas. I had forgotten how much I like that walk. Listening to David Bowie and other icons from the 70's made for a very pleasant journey. The ducks were all down by the pond busy as usual and hoping somebody nice would bring them a Sunday treat.

So thank you Sherry for being my 'Spark' today.

Thank you Kevin for being my 'Spark' yesterday. The nicest, and perhaps the least expensive Valentine's Day to-date. We started off with morning coffee and
then opened our home-made Valentine Cards. Mine from Kevin had angels and stars and was addressed to 'The Scribe of Sonria' - I love it I love it! Kevin's one from me was a picture of two birds holding hands swinging from a tree. We recycled old cards as that is what I wanted to do for this YOSA. Then I made brunch for Claudia's pals who overnighted.

Later Kevin and I headed into town. We decided we would celebrate by pretending we were visitors to Victoria - seeing it with new eyes and all that... Thanks to all the RBC rewards, we had all these gift vouchers. We'd get a treat each in the Bay. Kevin was delighted to find a fab. Tommy Bahamas shirt at half price and paid for it with his complimentary gift card from me! I did the same with his one and got moisturiser which I needed. It was a great day to hit the Bay as they were pampering women all day long and offering all sort of freebies. I got a wonderful complimentary ginger hand massage and later did the rounds of the perfumes, choosing Chanel to travel with me today. Wonderful, off we set for the next round.

Got out on the street and two nice girls carrying baskets gave Kevin and me some free chocolate from Rogers, the Victoria Chocolatiers par excellence. No! I didn't eat it but kept it to bring back to me darlin' daughters. Off we trotted down Government Street for more cheap thrills. I tell you there is nothin' as fun as being a tourist in your own home town! Our next Port of Call was a wonderful tea shop (name I cannot remember) It was 'the ultra' in terms of sophistication and elegance. They offered us samples of delicious teas. I loved the black rose petal tea - truly wonderful.

We walked all the way down to Roberta's Hat Shop on Government. I spent at least 15 minutes trying on various hats and never in my life had so much fun. We did Easter, Weddings, Xmas and every occasion hats and my favourite was a green velvet hat with black feather - divine for St. Patrick's Day, when I celebrate with O'Bama - since there is nobody as Irish as Barack O'Bama as the song goes...Why they even changed his name from Obama to O'Bama - I say!

After the hard work with the hats, we walked down to Chinatown. I needed a latte in my very favourite coffee shop in Victoria - if not the world! It is called 'Bean around the world' and is quite an eclectic place. They serve delicious toasted sandwiches and their coffee is organic from Salt Spring Island - Delish! They also have the very best carrot cake in town - thick, moist and succulent. We did the honours and in addition Kevin got their raspberry shortcake. The girl serving us was so polite, she even asked 'would you like a corner piece or a bit in the middle which has more fruit?" I ask you - who would bother their ass asking you that with such a large lineup? I told her it was a very important question and thanked her for asking me and yes, I'd have the piece in the middle with more fruit on it. My Barista gave me the heart on my latte - but of course for Valentine's Day!!

Ahh...this is the life and so far our wonderful day has cost us virtually nothin' Simple Abundance...I tell you there is something in it...o.k.. o.k.. we bought the Cleopatra bed for Claudia earlier in the week - but you know that was for Claudia. Each of the girls has been given a bed for life to bring with them whenever, and if ever they have their own homes. An inheritance - call it what you will! We got lovely distressed-style French country Ethan Allen beds for Alexandra and Victoria in Calgary, and Claudia had been rendered 'the runt' as she felt, so yes, it's only fair she should have her 'Cleopatra Bed' too. Listen, it's like I'm barking up the wrong tree trying to make my offspring see that Yes, life can be good - with simplicity and fewer possessions - o.k. o.k. I'm 50 something and it's taken me a while to see that...Yes I agree. When I was their age, fashion and fun was the only thing on my agenda...

After 'Bean around the world' - an interesting name since that's what we've been doing today, we headed over to the Irish Times Pub/Restaurant on Government and enjoyed some wings and chips with garlic sauce. Full of nourishment and salty as hell to encourage people to drink more. We enjoyed the relaxing atmosphere and really it was just like being bang in the middle of Dublin in a pub on Grafton Street! - no different.

After 'The Irish Times' we went up to see 'The Bard and Banker' also owned and operated by the same Industrialist from Northern Ireland. Like 'The Irish Times', the place is sumptuous, for want of a better word. Originally, it was a bank, and like all Banks and Churches in a bygone era - was a place of respect, fit for a King - so hence the name 'The Bard and Banker'. Apparently he spent millions doing it up and you could tell - the chandeliers, brass fittings, marble, etc. magnificent and really a credit to him to 'raise the bar' if you'll excuse the pun! Since 'The Bard and Banker' as you can tell from its name has a British and Scottish theme, the girl attendants all wore kilts. They wore sassy kilts in 'The Irish Times' too and some kilts were short enough to see Paris and France - Kevin rationalised that like the salt in the food, the sassy kilts make men order more drinks - I wonder why!! They sure attend to all the fine details in both these establishments of pleasure.

That was our day - we headed back home to join the girls, ordered in some Chinese - what happened to the Paella I was going to make? yes, that's a good question - I was wondering the same thing! I guess it didn't happen. The Chinese more than made up for it. Later we had delish raspberry mousse cake.

Yes, all in all I needed that 3 mile walk this morning...Holy Moley look at those calories consumed yesterday. No I choose not to - thank you very much. I think like Molly Darcy now "Yesterday is history...tomorrow is a mystery...live for today".

Each day brings wonderful new surprises...that is what makes them so special. Enjoy your Sunday and hope you took time to do something nice for yourselves - remember in the plane - you gotta put the mask on yourself first!!

On that happy note,

Cheery Billy Bye,


Patricia Delisha xxx

Love is all around...every sight and every sound

So who says Canadians aren't romantic!!

Check this out folks. Driving around this morning love is definitely in the air. Hot pink and dark pink tops on girls, red necklaces, hearts all around. Every gal is dressed up for Valentine's Day - meself included - Hot Red Moma today!!

First thing this morning we turned on the t.v. in our bedroom - I know I know - there should not be a t.v. in the boudoir - but there you go. We looked at belly dancers strutting their stuff - I so want to learn belly dancing, even if just for the clothes! Next our eye witness on the streets of Victoria checks out all the lingerie stores in town and what they are offering - PLEASE! naughty knickers for boys - black lace and slinkey - if I saw him coming out with that on I think I'd be keeping a very close eye on my underwear for any missing pieces - Seriously what man is going to wear a black slinky number like that. They had quite a few of them in the shop...so maybe they know...they know!! The girls stuff was the usual black, red and pink pieces of fluff and froth. I just don't get it with the thongs...I could tell the male reporter was getting a bit hot around the collar.

Got into the office and I was pleasantly surprised with a scented feather rose from a patient - looked real but was made up of feathers - absolutely gorgeous! I was just thanking her and saying why on earth would anybody buy a real rose now especially since the ones in the shops don't have any scent from them...this one looks the real thing, smells the real thing...and will last a lot longer than the real thing. The feather was symbolic of the Holy Spirit and at Xmas she gave us two starbucks mugs with red doves on them. The inside of the mugs were also red. I told her the significance of the dove and the red made me think of the Holy Spirit. She loved the symbolism and since then it has been doves and now the feather rose. The rose of course being symbolic of Our Lady...So lovely.

In addition being asked to oversee the confirmation class has further activated the Holy Spirit theme which seems to be following me this year. The synchronicity of life!! I so enjoyed the session last Wednesday with the kids. Love love love them and am so grateful for this experience. It was meant to be.

Hope you all have a truly special weekend - bring out the red xmas cloth and decorate the room. Since Claudia is having some friends come around this evening, I did a quick makeover before I left for the office - Check it out girls! got red xmas cloth, draped pink one over it in the shape of a diamond. Later got out my two valentine trees (purchased in winners bargain bin some years ago for $5 each). Brought out the red candles from xmas. Got my box of rose petals from the Holy Communion parties of years ago - spread the rose petals all around the table. Voila - Magnifico! Got my cherub angel with heart and draped her off the chandelier along with some rose napkin rings - also from the xmas drawer. So much fun and that is going to be my table this whole weekend. Plan to cook Paella for Sat evening. Kevin is bringing me to the Irish Times earlier in the day for a romantic lunch and that is about the size of it.

From my heart to yours I send abundant love...hugs...and kisses. I would love to hear how you celebrated the love this weekend - minus the steamy bits of course - which I shall leave to my imagination!!

May the force be with y'all this weekend of love...

Delisha xxx

I love Jerry Dean

I love Jerry Dean because his music makes me feel happy. It has a Mexican/Bavarian trumpet twist - very unusual. As I was listening to it today in the car, I had visions of 90 year old Molly Darcy, mother of 14, jiving around the floor with her son the Industrialist, Bill Cullen. We are our thoughts after all - and the happier we can make them - the better. As you listen to some of the jive numbers, try some visual stimulation - see if it works for you.

I was introduced to his music by Kevin after he visited Sante Fe, New Mexico some years ago. He brought me back a piece of Jerry in his suitcase and I have loved him ever since. I can hear so many cultures in his music - Irish - German - Mexican - Spanish. I guarantee there is not a single person in the world who would not feel happy listening to him. So today was a 'Jerry Day'. Google Jerry Dean - Latin/Spanish Pop - that's what he calls his music on I-tunes. Love to hear what you think.

I was singing along with Jerry in the car, and really enjoying driving around the city, watching people move and groove to the beat. Even a very rude and impatient yellow taxi driver behind me today couldn't phase me. Another day I might have yelled and told him where to go - (taxis and red pick-up testosterone-loaded truck drivers, are my worst enemies on the road). Not today - today was a Jerry Day. We passed a motor bike with a young couple atop. It looked so funny because the fellow was sitting at the back and he was enormous and perched in such a way I thought he was going to fall off the bike. His girlfriend the driver was teeny tiny - it should have been the other way round? But listening to Jerry they looked hilarious.

Next we passed a tandem - I hate hate hate to see very young children on those - they look so dangerous. There was a dad pedalling away in front while his teeny tiny little daughter was in the back pedalling to keep up with him - what if she fell off behind? would he notice or see if she got into difficulties? I don't think so. She should have been in front and the dad in the back. Anyway some of the things you see on the road!!

Next thing we passed a Subway restaurant and Jerry whispered into my ear that today was a day for simple abundance - and that I was to simply forget the thrift krap - and get an abundant tuna wrap. Who was I to argue? In my books food should not be one of those areas to drastically change, especially if you are not on the breadline - and not wishing to make others suffer - right? My SA journey is for me alone, and I don't want to make others suffer...Right? which is why I allowed Claudia get her Cleopatra bed yesterday and will reinstate the Chewrifics for the bitches. Jerry agreed that yes, that made sense to him too. I shall continue to do sensible things like not buying a 43rd pair of shoes, especially when I only wear about 9 pairs, and stuff like that.

I had to make an extra trip to the school today as Vicky had forgotten an important blue folder that she needed for school, so instead of saying 'darn' I said I would turn a negative situation into a positive one, and buy Subways for everybody - Yeah! what a great idea. Too bad I couldn't buy Jerry one too.

I headed into the Subway and shortly after I arrived, a big fight ensued - not a physical bust up - no just a very irate lady began to fight with the poor young 'Sandwich Artist' as they call them over here. The Sandwich Artist hadn't a word of English except to say "you like" and point to the tomatoes, peppers, etc. It has always worked for me and everybody else but not today. I always say "fully loaded - like a pistol love" and they always understand. Fully-loaded meaning a little bit of everything - believe me it saves at least 10 mins. in the line up.

'I am so very disappointed with Subway" the skinny irate lady spitted out, her face getting redder than the tomatoes the poor SA was trying to put on her slab. She must have had a tapeworm I rationalised because even I could not have handled the enormous footlong she was ordering. "I notice, and have noticed for some time now that your scoops of tuna are getting smaller and smaller" she continued, fuming at this point.

I could tell the poor sandwich artist hadn't a clue what the irate lady was saying. The irate lady with the tapeworm could not be comforted by the SA so the poor SA had to call the manager and all hell broke loose. I realised then she was probably looking for a freebie. It happens.

Subways and Starbucks have a lot in common in that regard. People are almost as fussy as me - some are even worse. I saw a similar incident in another subway in Fort McMurray some years ago. It was so ferocious an attack, I never forgot it. A very large 6' 10" caucasian male attacked the poor sandwich artist and abused her to high hell telling her she was the worst person in the whole wide world and that her scoops were pathetic. The girl - this is no joke - ended up becoming a patient of Kevin. I recognized her face - hard to forget it when I saw the colour drain from it. And I thought I was the only fussy eater.

Next time I go to Starbucks and order my tall 1% extra wet restretto cappuccino, I'll know I'm not the only one with simple tastes and that if he is a minute late serving up my creamy goodness, I'll be given a complimentary beverage coupon to reward me for my patience - Ah! that's the way to do it!

So the message of today's blog is - "If you feel like a lift - welcome Jerry into your life and see the sun begin to shine".

On that happy note I'll bid you adieu - Can't wait to hear how your Valentine's weekend goes. I shall be setting up the table with pink and red tablecloths, red candles, my two red heart shaped trees with dangling red hearts and will scatter red and gold foil chocolate hearts all over the table. Hell I know - but never mind I'll be singing along with Jerry...

Love y'all.

Keep Happy and look after yourselves.

Delisha xxx

Simple Abundance Me Ass - What was I thinking?

Some mornings I wake up and cannot remember what day of the week it is. I'm like the late Spike Milligan in that regard - if I recognize my surroundings it's all I ask, and I'm happy to be still alive. This morning...what can I say - I even knew before I awoke it was the dreaded Wednesday. Today's Wednesday was even more Wednesday-ish than normal if there is such a thing. By 9.00 a.m. there was enough drama packed into the day to last me all day and for the rest of the week.

Boy Scout Kevin was up at the crack of dawn and woke me up at 6.45 am with the coffee. He had broken my rule of no coffee before 7.00 am weekdays and none before 8.00 am weekends! He had been out in the gym at some ungodly hour and was full of the joys of spring. He puts the dogs out to do their business and then comes back and throws Lulu on my stomach like she's a 2 lbs. bag of potatoes - that woke me up! When I looked at the clock and saw it was not even 7.00 a.m. I knew I knew I knew - it was going to be one of those days!

Next I discover that Lulu or Chi-Chi had done a number on my La Senza favourite pink dressing gown that the girls gave me for Xmas. It wasn't just an 'ordinary' number. This was so unusual for them - only once did Lulu do a number in the bed - my reaction was such she never did it again. My favourite dressing gown had fallen off the bed during the night and was on the floor and all I can think is that the culprit must have thought it was a newspaper! The reason I didn't hang it up was because I got to bed so late ironing 20 shirts. I always leave it until Kevin is looking for me to sew on a button on a shirt. Then I know he's down to the last two.

I ironed at least 20 last night - enought to last 3 weeks. So that's why my dressing gown was at the end of the bed and not hanging up - The brats are paper trained which is why they must have thought my dressing gown was paper. Another thing - the 'culprit' must be mad at me since I haven't bought the 'Chewrifics' for a while now. That could be it too...They don't call them bitches for nothin'. Like roosters, they have to work on earning the title!

Over coffee Kevin was delirious about his new hero 'Bill Cullen' - Ireland's answer to Donald Trump. The owner of 17 companies, a self-professed workaholic, 66 years of age with the body and mind of a 26 year old! Bill is up every morning at the crack of dawn and goes into the gym...so that explains!!

After listening to him being interviewed on radio last week, Kevin admires him so much. One of 14 children and raised in a one bedroom tenement in the back streets of Dublin, Bill was always a cheerful worker. His first job was working for a car company. His hours were supposed to be from 8-6 and instead he went in from 6-8 - "That's the way to do it - Bill's your man - Simple Abundance me ass - go out and spend a week in the cat's shed and tell me how you like it! - simple abundance - me ass - I know you - you're barking up the wrong tree - you like the good life too much - if you get a windfall in the morning, I know what you'll be doing - you'll be saying Simple Abundance me Ass - get me down to Chintz and La Senza and Winners!" - He knows me! The man knows me!
Wonderful - and it was still only 7.15 a.m.

"The secret to life is Work Hard - Spend Hard - Play Hard - and enjoy your life. All this SA krap is for lazy bum Gigolos who don't want to work, and want to spend the day rejoicing in the way the sunlight casts rays upon your hair - and get you off to work woman". - That's my Man! - All Aries Male - every bit!

Wonderful! and it was still only 7.20 a.m.

I had to be up early as 'The Bed' was being delivered at 8.30 a.m. In prep for the bed I had to do the usual 'Charlie' routine - vacuum downstairs and check for chihuahua droppings - even though I know where they dropped them this morning! Though I discovered some near the t.v. - b.....s! I think it would be a good idea to reinstate the Chewrifics.

I got dressed this morning - not the usual pj job - and off we flew to the schools to be back by 8.30 a.m. I was back before then to discover - as I knew I would - that the delivery fellows would be waiting for me. They were. I told them to bring the van over to the side as it would be easier to deliver the bed through the back garden and that way they could avoid the stairs. They were grateful for my consideration - drove the big-opened-ready-to-deliver-de bed van around the side and THEN I discovered that hubby had all the gates locked like Fort Bloody Knox - what was he thinking? We're not quite at Bill Cullen's level yet!

I ran inside to look for the keys to unlock the gates - could not find them - was cursing - can you imagine - the fellows waiting outside. This had happened before with the gardener and Kevin showed me where he kept the key. (The gardener had to take the whole bolt apart and put it together again). The key wasn't where it was supposed to be, so the poor fellows had to walk all over the place with the heavy bed - the front door and stairs would have been a lot easier!!

The bed is for Claudia's room as she did not have a proper one. "That's my point about all this SA nonsense" Kevin so rightly pointed out. "It's not just an ordinary bed you got - it's a bed fit for Cleopatra. What happened to Simple Abundance?". He's right - the man is right - However, Claudia and I did the rounds on the internet to source a nice bed - the ones on Ikea looked o.k. but were, like all Ikea stuff we have bought in the past - too cheap and cheerful for our taste. Claudia is Libra - For Gosh sakes - what do you expect! - she has impeccable taste - the bed is for her - it is a bed for life!

The good news is the bed was cheaper than the Bay where we looked first - we thought we could sensibly use all our hundreds of dollars worth of vouchers to buy one there - nice try except it did not work. Their beds were for 'Grannies' as Claudia so correctly remarked - dark and gloomy - could picture a corpse being laid out on them.

Then on to 'Chintz' - my idea of Heaven! I was shaking with pleasure at the thought of a visit there - had not been there since the YOSA year began. Too risky...given my track record!! Oh my Lord! it was even more heavenly than I remembered - divine in fact - jewels from Egypt and the far corners of Afghanistan-Bananaastan, glistened from glass cases and teased the hell out of me "Buy me, I'm yours baby" "No over here" a gorgeous chintz couch yelled "I'm all yours and a great price too". I know it would look fab in the front room to replace the dog's disgusting one...Damm...get me to the beddery..quick!!

We got there to discover by pure luck the most beautiful bed I had ever in my life seen - and at a steal of a deal (they all say that I know) but compared to the stuff we had seen elsewhere - it was a great deal. A clearance item because of a little scratch in a place you would not even see. It is a sleigh bed, queen size in my favourite wood of all - burl - from the old french word 'bourle' which means tuft of wool. It has varying shades of colour - light and dark wood and has a very nice pattern from the way they applied the veneer. The bed is divine and looks very old as if it came straight out of Louis IV's palace in Paris - that's my Claudia! As long as she's not looking for a prince to join her!! I'm o.k.

So now you can understand why Kevin says "SA me a!"

By 9.00 the bed was installed until they discovered that they were missing two very important bolts for the base - I'm sitting here waiting for somebody to return with the bolts ...to take the bed apart again...to put them back in. But why did those nice fellows put the bed together knowing they were missing the bolts and that the bed would have to be taken apart again? Beats me.

Told you I didn't like Wednesdays...Wednesday happened before I even said a word...It's just doing its own thing.

10.20 - still no sign of them. I had to cancel a coffee morning with some nice girls this morning because of this bed. We will do it next week instead. I have to be in to the office early today as I have to leave early because I have the two rides today - the hospital run with Vicky which I dread - up and down that lunatic motorway where they have no manners, and are all worse drivers than me - then after that I have to rush home, make a quick sandwich for the car and then bring Claudia to Confirmation class. I will study the book in the office when I get in - when and IF I get in - still waiting on the bolts...

So that's the rest of this wonderful Wednesday...and whatever happens in between...

Still no bolts...Kevin went off to work early singing Molly Darcy's favourite song (Molly Darcy being Bill Cullen's mother) "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery...live for today". I would - if it wasn't a bleedin' Wednesday!!

Love ya. Be good to yourselves!!

Delisha xxx

Isn't life funny!

Dear Blogging Buddies,

After yesterday's events, I was going to send y'all out a message admitting defeat...going something like this - I GIVE UP!! - No I wasn't buying any more clothes or shoes. But the universe conspired against me and sent a deluge of new expenses my way...unavoidable ones...educational trips for kids, driving lessons, new bed, etc. etc. The message I was getting was loud and clear - Hold your fire lady! - which made my little coffee here, and coffee there, seem like a wart on an elephant's backside!

Then I got this lovely message from Mary, a lady on myspace.com who told me she was enjoying my blog - THANK YOU MARY - you saved me going downhill!!

Now I'm back all bright-eyed and bushy legged - No! I shall not get an expensive salon wax treatment - I shall do it myself! I shall continue my fight even if it only seems like a wart on an elephant's back side!

I love my new sons whom we call "The Lads". Charles (who is not a Charlie type) but is the real deal 'Charles' has the most captivating smile. I put his photo on the sideboard and every time I pass it I cannot help but smile back - am loving it!

On that cheery note - actually it gets better - I FINALLY finished de book - I now have to go over it again with a fine tooth comb to weed out some words - I'm far too wordy.

As a Rooster in the Chinese astrology system - We have more of a problem pulling in our horns - than blowing them!! I ain't a COCK-A-DOODLE-DO for nothin'. They make us work in this job!

Love Ya...

Be good to yourselves...

Delisha xxx

Congratulations and Celebrations!!

Yeah I know!...I wasn't supposed to be blogging and all that... but to tell the truth I missed you guys. Something happened now and I just had to share the good news. Would you believe I still have my orange coat and scarf on me I'm that excited to tell you. What is it? you may wonder. A total miracle happened tonight. Do you remember at the start of this blog, I told you I wanted to adopt two new kids? Well tonight out of the blue - (1st time in four years of living here) a priest came to talk to us in church. He had a table full of photos of children from all over the world looking for sponsorship. It was synchronicity because that is what was in the back of my mind, especially since Fluffy's departure.

As he was talking, I did the sums and for the exact same amount as feeding and getting bedding for Fluffy, we can sponsor a child - exact same amount to the penny - except the rabbit food was not tax-deductible. We now go to 5.00 p.m. mass instead of 11.00 a.m. so we can get to sleep it in on a Sunday morning - as well as getting to sleep it in, we are also saving ourselves $40 per week not getting a brunch out after mass, like we always used to do. So I did the sums - missing just one Sunday brunch, we could pay for another little fellow for a month.

On a table in the vestibule of the church they had all the little kids looking for sponsors (their pictures - not the kids!!) The priest asked us to help out little boys as the girls are more popular. We ended up getting a little boy from Ukraine called Ivan (Scorpio) blonde and gorgeous, and another little boy from Kenya called Charles (Libra) 5th October b/day with a big libran smile.

I have always wanted sons - now my family is complete. A weird thought but true all the same - For the cost of feeding Fluffy for a month I can now feed Charles. Insane isn't it?

Wasn't it just weird the way this priest should just happen to come in tonight? I call it divine timing.

Lots of love,

Kevin, Patricia, Ali, Vicky, Claudia, Ivan, Charles and Sima xxx

I have two new sons and no! I haven't really gone around the bend and t.g. they are out of nappies now so I wont be up all night!! Been there done that. It was a pain free delivery - no epidurals - no stitches!! Allelulia...Kevin was joking we will become like Schmidt in 'About Schmidt' who adopted some kids, was bored in his retirement and began talking and writing to them and telling them all his troubles, etc. not there just yet!

Cheers and look after yourselves xxx

Delisha xxx

the time has come for a brief hiatus

Dear Friends,

Though words have no wings, together you and I have flown thousands of miles in the last week or so. You have taken the time to write comments and read my ranting blogs, as I voiced my opinion, and shared a little bit about my life here in Victoria. You have driven in my car with me, held my hand at the Dentist's, and shared my enthusiasm for sweet Charlie. It was so much fun. By doing this, and thanks to your support, I have got over a little of my stage fright as I now prepare to launch my first astrology book entitled 'Children of the Stars'.

I have to meet with my editor Carol next Wednesday D.V. and hand her over my completed manuscript - so I'd better get my skids on. (If you are reading this Carol - don't worry! I am working into the night and will have it ready for you by Wednesday D.V.)

Should you suffer any withdrawal symptoms - don't worry I'm always on hand to share a laugh. Email me at either phoneill@shaw.ca or delisha57@hotmail.com

Oops...before I go - I did promise the recipe for my delicious and economial
Vege Lasagne.

Some Lovin' from my oven...

Delisha's Delectable Vege Lasagne

2 packs of Yves Italian flavour vegetable protein (340 gram) or any tvp mix)
1 large can diced tomatoes (Italian flavour)
I small can tomato puree
I large onion
4-6 cloves garlic (I like lotsa garlic)
salt and pepper
3 large organic carrots
10 or so mushrooms
2 tbs. extra virgin olive oil (has more flavour than canola oil)
1 cup frozen peas (optional)
Lasagne sheets (oven ready - preferably wholewheat ones - way nicer)
2 packs alfredo sauce mix (follow instructions on pack)
Grated cheese for top (love aged white cheddar the best)

**********************

In large saucepan fry onion and garlic gently in oil. Add chopped mushrooms, carrots, garlic, and peas. Keep stirring for a few moments until onions take on a nice golden hue. Next add tvp mix and break it up with wooden spoon. Add
2 cups or so of water and tomatoes and tomato puree. Give everything a good mix and if the mixture is still too thick for your liking - add a little more water - go gently with the water first as you don't want it too wet! Maybe even start with one cup of water at the beginning. Cook this mixture on the stove for about 10-15 mins or so before putting it into the oven.

Next spray base of lasagne dish with PAM or low fat spray. Put mix in base.
Cover with lasagne sheets and repeat until mixture is used up. Cover with alfredo sauce mix (some people use bechamel sauce). Lastly sprinkle some grated cheese over top. Pop into 375 deg. oven or whatever heat you normally use in your oven for a lasagne. I have an electric oven. Medium heat.

Enjoy....I get 8 average portions out of that one.

One more...

You come in home hungry from work or play, and want a quickie to satisfy you before you hit the cookie jar!

Turn on your sandwich or Panini maker (invest in a Panini maker - they are invaluable - mine was a cheapie from London Drugs (around $40) and is terrific.

Tuna Diablo is delish!

1 can tuna (in water and not oil as it makes it greasy)
hot sauce
chopped pepper
some chopped onion
mayonnaise
1 slice aged cheddar (best flavour)
2 slices of thick sandwich bread (must be thick)

*******************

In a bowl mix together tuna, some chopped red onion, red and green pepper (only a little). Add mayonnaise and hot sauce (depends on how hot you like it), taste as you go with the hot sauce! Add liberal amount of mayonnaise until you form a nice moist mixture. Put some mixture on bread (keep away from edges as it will spread). Place slice of cheese on top and then cover with other slice of bread. Stick it into Panini maker and ENJOY! Totally satisfying supper and very filling. Of course you can make that a lot lower in the calories if you use the WW wraps (1 point each) and lesser amounts of tuna, low cal mayo and low cal cheese.

Another delicious one is if you used the 'proper' panini bread which you can get in the supermarket. Butter on some basil pesto sauce (green coloured one) on the bread (it is rich so maybe on one slice) cover with a slice of havarti cheese and toast - rich but delish!

Enjoy!

Watch this space...I'll be back.

Lotsa love,

Delisha xxx

Why I hate ATM machines

I was standing at the ATM machine one bright sunny day - delighted with myself - Spring was in the air. All around you could smell new paint as merchandisers got ready for summer. Bright fluffy stuff had arrived in the shops...and my hands were itching to spend.

Behind me in line were five men, four ladies, three Romanian gypsies and two Romanian gypsy babies. The man directly behind me was a fine hunk - not that it mattered - but he was coming in a bit close to me. I could feel his breath warm on my neck. Anyway, I stuck in the card, keyed in the pin numbers and waited...and waited...I hoped they would give me new crisp notes today - the ones that shine like silk. Still waited...nothin' happening. THEN lo and behold out comes a note - it made the empty flake wrapper they gave a fellow in the cadbury's ad. look good. This is what it said: "eff off lady - you're broke - get a job!".

I wasn't giving up without a good fight, so I keyed in my Savings account pin number - same sob story. Yes! I'd try my gold visa card - I should have thought of that in the beginning - dammit -why they even give you rewards points when you spend - now we're in business! Yes, it would be third time lucky! By now the fellow behind me was positively indecent as he pressed his body against mine - even worse - a Romanian gypsy woman has wrapped herself around my ankle like an umbilical cord "Please missus - spare a copper for the chisler - we need Pompers". The sniff would indicate that yes the baby did indeed need new Pompers.

I waited...Please Mr. Visa...be nice...if you are, I promise I'll give $20 to the Romanian gypsy for her baby. I waited and finally a note came out - the abuse of it is something I shall never forget: "Eff off lady - you're broke - get a job you maggot, you scumbag - you sweet lousy faggot - get a job!". I thought quickly as I had to save face with the decent folks behind me "Drat" I said to them, raising my hands to heaven "That's what happens when you can't remember your pin number!".

I found a kit kat in my pocket and gave it to the poor unfortunate Romanian gypsy woman - She threw it back to me "Eff off lady - get a job!" she said - this was the same lady who when times were good I gave her $10 for the Pampers and she kissed my hand - and phoned Romania on her blackberry and told them to buy another plot of land - and now she was telling me to "Eff off lady - get a job!".

Suddenly! - I woke up. I was in a lather of sweat. Hubby was swimming around in the bed "Darling, maybe you should take something for those night sweats".

Be good to yourselves - and stay away from dem ATM machines!

Lots of love,

Delisha xxx

Goodbye dear Fluffy - I shall miss you...

Dear Friends,

God works in the most mysterious of ways as you will see...

Jokes apart, I had been really concerned about Fluffy's situation for some time now. In fact I tried to find her a home about two weeks ago, but it fell through. Every time I passed her cage in the basement, I would get a whiff of guilt and sadness at her sorry plight. She really had a miserable existence and may as well have been dead. I thought of maybe returning her to the pet shop where we bought her, at a weak moment, after Tatiana our hampster died two years ago. In desperation I even considered bringing her up to the University of Victoria where hundreds of rabbits run free, in the hopes she may make a friend or two...then the girls said "Mother you'd be arrested for doing that" so that was the end of that.

Today, one of Kevin's patients was very upset because it was her daughter's birthday tomorrow, and she wanted to get her a bunny rabbit - but could not afford to get the cage and all the paraphernalia involved. She is a single mother of four young children and is just going through a very bitter divorce (tell me - are they ever sweet?). Kevin mentioned Fluffy, and call it divine providence or what...but Fluffy ended up packing her little suitcases this evening. Claudia helped me to clean out her cage and told me she was female.

She was so good sitting there patiently as we cleaned out her cage - almost as if she knew. Lulu and Chi Chi were also very lonely and really it was like an Irish Wake as we gathered up all her little things, food, bedding, feeding dishes and water containers.

As we left the house Lulu and Chi Chi came out to the front door to see her off. It was all really very strange and sad and weird. I am so sorry for all the mean things I said about her in the past. When I looked at her today, she looked absolutely beautiful with her little bobby socks paws and beige velvet coat dotted with little black stripes (which is why we called her Tiger initially). I changed the name to Fluffy as I felt Tiger was an unlucky name. A cat we had in the past was called Tiger Lily and she fell off the neighbour's tree and broke her neck. Everybody thinks she was poisoned as cats always fall on their feet.

The same neighbour informed me that cats were not allowed to roam in the neighbourhood and that I could be fined $30 for allowing TL to do so. Unknown to this lady, her husband offered to look after TL when we were in Ireland - (without asking her permission), so she was mad with him, as she did not like cats. Her new second husband was off to a very very bad start!! Two days before we were due to leave for Ireland, Tiger Lily fell off her tree and died 'mysteriously' in the neighbour's garden - Divine Providence of a lesser kind...!!
Again it was one of those experiences that you never forget because you are left wondering...

Anyway Fluffy is gone now to a 'perfect home'. When we arrived at the house, the mum, whom I'll call Rosabelle (because it suits her) began to cry with joy. It was love at first sight for both Fluffy and her. She loves rabbits and had one years ago. She thought Fluffy was the most beautiful rabbit she had ever in her life seen and remarked on her beautiful colouring and pretty little feet - everything of course that Rosabelle was saying was absolutely correct - she was a beautiful rabbit - it's just I did not have the time to notice that nor did the girls who are gone beyond 'the bunny stage'. Rosabelle's little girls Ruby and Violet began to dance around the room with joy - it was the happiest scene I have seen for a very long time and it warmed my heart.

Of course Fluffy is in bunny heaven because Rosabelle wants to let her have the freedom of the house like her last one had. This was a classic example of a WIN WIN WIN situation.

The moral of the story is - Do not buy a bunny rabbit - unless you have the time to play with it. Of course a Playboy Bunny is a totally different story - they never have any problem finding people to play with them.

Cheers, and thought that little magic story would warm your heart on this cold frosty evening.

Thank you God...I love you for the miracles you create.

Delisha xxx

God Bless you Ms God Diva - you're a Lady!

Dear Ms. God Diva,

I'm sorry that I haven't been able to get around to thanking you yet for your very helpful comments and suggestions - you see there is one little thing - I know it's got absolutely nothing to do with you personally - really it's just a name! It's like this - when I see your name written down in front of me, I get the hebejeebies - In addition to being a shopaholic in remission - I am also - wait for it - a chocaholic in remission - Jeez I'm a right mess, aren't I? You see in my past life I just LOVED Godiva chocolates - they were in fact my very favourite. It took me a while...but I'm ready now Ms. God Diva to look at your name and not weaken - I'm strong now.

In response to my 'Cruisin' down the Root Canal' and the immense pain and suffering - not to mention expense - you suggested that I should consider having everybody's teeth extracted...mind you I had to chew on it for a bit. Believe you me every time #17 acts up - which is every day - I'm giving your suggestion a lot of consideration. And yes, it would indeed save much money all around...no more cooking...only liquids...cheap soda pop and not having to worry about tooth decay...lovely false teeth and even co-ordinate them to match each of my outfits - have a pink day - a lilac day - MAN - you're one hell of a genius!

I put it to K and he was very enthusiastic. He said there are occasions when he would rather I did not have teeth as he finds them scary - wonder what he means? - search me! I put it to the girls - they were far less enthusiastic. We really did take it seriously. I even blew up 5 photos (actually 9 including my furry friends) and with a black pen erased a few teeth here and there...It just didn't look great. Please don't be offended Ms. God Diva. Chi Chi shows me more teeth than I ask for, especially if I go near her leopardskin igloo when she is chewing on a bone - Actually of all the 9 of us in the house - Chi Chi would be my first choice to have a tooth extraction - especially the molars - they are seriously SCARY. Good suggestions...Are you a Virgo by any chance?

Dear Miracle Man Two,

I never realised you were married - (no offence, but can you please change your name to 'Miracle Husband' because some of the antics your wife is up to would suggest you are - for putting up with her! So you say when it comes to jewellery, your wife is definitely a vegetarian - It's carrots, carrots, carrots all the time (is she a Taurus by any chance?) I'm not a bloke and actually there is no need to send me a photo of her winning the Miss Manilla 1999 Wet t-shirt competition - suffice to say - I can only just imagine!!

I'm sure the day she lost her ring, your turkey wasn't too impressed with the intimate body search - but as you say yourself - all's well that ends well and you're happy that she's happy and I'm happy that you're happy and that I told you about that Mercury Retrograde thing - so now you know - If you're ever missing rings or watches or things - especially around Xmas - you know where to look!

Slan, and keep on doin' what makes you happy

Dear Lady God Diva,

You really are a lady and a practical one too. You are truly in earnest and take everything I say to heart. Seriously - this double remission thing I'm in at the moment is self-inflicted - so don't feel bad. I feel I wasn't suffering enough in my life - I need to do this - it's important for me deep down to...for want of a better word...suffer.

Suffering is good - it makes you strong - It's just the bloody cost of living that's a curse. I'm tackling it head on and I have not ruled out the teeth yet.

Being the Year of the Ox - you suggested that perhaps I could yoke one on to me old 12 year old car and yahoo - I'd be on my way...I agree parking an Ox in Chinatown could cause a problem though.

Now as regards getting a donkey and cart to ferry me three Ms. Daisies around town...I would feel too much of an ass - I can just picture myself jumping out of bed at 7 in the morning in my pj's and then having to wake up a sleepy ass - I agree feeding an Ox and a Donkey would be a lot cheaper than petrol for a car and yes! I could give them all those filthy carrots and spuds from the garden.

Never say never...

God Bless you Ms. God Diva...and Sweet Dreams

Delisha xxx


Dear Viv and Jim,

Re. 'Pardon me for a moment while I throw up'

Always good to hear from followers. Hmm...I had to think about what you said. So your sympathies clearly lie with the girl who had the boob job? The Ms. Perfect Playboy Bunny Statistics Girl - correct me if I'm wrong! Miss Manilla Wet t-shirt girl thinks I have missed 'Ms. Mammaries Points' and that she wasn't upgrading the chassis for Ol' Blubber Boy - and that - nah - she just realised that mammaries of mass corruption are essential weapons in the war of the wet t-shirt brigade. "Bring em on baby..." (Readers - they are Viv and Jim's comments - absolutely not mine).

Not wishing to offend - But I found absolutely nothing titillating about Ms. Playboy-Bunny-Wannabe's story. She is welcome to her HOBBY! (hateful ol' blubber boy Yuck!). My sympathies were with her completely - look at all the efforts she was making to look good for him - and what does he do to try to look good for her?...nothing. I guess it's true what they say - love is blind!

May the force be with you.

Slan,

Delisha xxx

Well Fancy that!

I want to share with you a wonderful experience which happened today. I was chatting with a lady, who for purposes of anonymity, I shall call 'Marilyn' as she looks exactly like Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn is currently going through a rather bitter divorce - tell me are they ever sweet? She is the daughter of a Texan oil millionaire who set up a trust fund for her so she would never have to do a day's work in her life. Trust me - these trust funds never work and are more trouble than they are worth.

Marilyn is a highly intelligent woman - but she never worked or had the opportunity to show the world what she was capable of doing - sadly. She tricked around for a bit with dress designing and jewellery designing - but never really worked too hard - because she did not need to.

She had looks and money - the whole package BUT, to quote her, attracted only "Loser Men" into her life - including the current one, who wants to take her to the cleaners. He likes to swagger around in the BMW she bought him, and play golf in the local Uppity Golf Club. He tells them all at the bar that he is tricking around in real estate - like Donald Trump -LOL. Sounds like a chapter from Desperate Housewives? Believe me this is the 'real deal'.

So what is this wonderful experience I want to share with you? - THIS IS IT - Marilyn has now embarked upon the 'Simple Abundance' path. She told me this - naturally I got excited - because I'm on the same journey myself - It was like meeting up on the train with a stranger and realising you are both going to the same concert!

Marilyn told me that she has booked herself into a convent for a few days to embark on a spiritual retreat* (see note below). She has done several of these retreats and getting so much out of them. She told me her bedroom there was a very simple room - just a bed - no ornaments - no pictures - no i-pods. It is a non-denominational convent retreat centre for meditation, etc. She is lovin' it. This is a girl who grew up in a 'Dallas style' ranch with every modern convenience. She told me the nuns encourage people not to let the water run when they are brushing their teeth, and all sorts of good advice like that. Do you let the water run? - I certainly did - until now!

Marilyn and myself exchanged some useful information, which I will share with you now. Firstly why don't you check out a retreat centre near you - you'd never know what you might learn - or who you could meet - or what you may experience - right? Every new day is an adventure in itself.

So for my part I told Marilyn (who is also a shopaholic in remission) about the Safeway 10% off Customer Appreciation Day (first Tuesday of the month deal) and how - wait for it - trumpets please - how I 'Saved' $170 which was deducted from the final count - everything I bought was on sale, and in addition I got my 10% discount off everything. Marilyn was amazed because she has lived in Victoria for years and never knew about that.

She likely shopped in those expensive organic markets which I 'used' to frequent until I realised they were all full of phoney baloney 'holier than thou' krapology. The last time I was there - and trust me - it was the 'last time tango'. They charged me the earth for their organic produce - which went off after two days - charged me twice as much as Safeway does for their equally good organic produce - and then they had the AUDACITY to ask me "do you want a bag?" I wanted to reply, but I didn't - (I'm trying in earnest to zip the lip). If I could, I would like to have responded "At the price you're charging me lady - it's the very least I deserve!" And then they make me feel like the scum bag ignoramous that I am when I say "yes please I'd like a bag" - here is the hook - they sell you expensive recycled bags which you can use for a week, until the handle falls off - it happens!

But you see I have to tell you - being the smart recycler I'm in the process of becoming...I reuse the supermarket bags when my pampered poochs do a little number on the street. Once I forgot my supermarket bag and Chi Chi did a 'little one' outside a lady's house. Because with chihuahuas 'little' is the operative word, I could have slipped off into the night like a thief - and nobody would have been the wiser - but not this time, I was being watched closely by the homeowner, from behind the valley of her squinting windows.

I knocked politely on her door "please missus but could you spare me a bag - my doggies have done a little you know what...on your lawn". The little lady raced into her kitchen, almost tripping over her walking stick, and rooted around for bags and then very kindly brought me out one which she presented ceremoniously to me (not 2 - they are a precious commodity) Armed with the bag in hand, I went to look for the dropping to pick it up, but I couldn't find the darn thing! Because she was watching me now, and had gone to so much trouble to find me a bleedin' supermarket bag - I simply ended up pretending to pick up something, grabbed a piece of grass and put it into the bag. I duly tied a knot in the bag, felt a right eejit, as off I trotted with Lulu and Chi Chi. So yes! supermarket bags come in handy on occasion!

The other bit of useful information which I shared with Marilyn is something I only recently discovered myself - (see the Universe is conspiring to make it happen!). It concerns gift cards. In fairness to them, the banks have always encouraged me to spend, and have been very supportive in that regard. (ATM machines being the exception - I find them moody and unpredictable).

As a thank you for spending, the bank rewarded me with Visa Gold Points (RBC Rewards Program). You spend lady - and we'll reward you - so really you're not spending at all - it only seems like you're spending. Anyway to cut a long story short. I discovered that you can get gift cards with your reward points - you can use these gift cards in major stores - The Bay, Zellers, Future Shop and Homesense - Eureka - I have tons of points! - I wonder why? Now if I need to buy a present for somebody for any occasion - christening, birthdays, wedding, divorce, pet dying sympathy gift, etc. etc. - I shall use my gift cards - after all I earned them!!

* A word of warning about touchy, feely places!! - As you vomit out your feelings, and your defenses are down - the gigolos are 'up'...to all sort of mischief!! Isn't that how Elizabeth Taylor met one of her husbands - they were drying out together - and ended up trying it out together!!

My word for today is HOPE

H - High fibre
O - Omega 3's
P - Probiotics
E - Enzymes

With hope in your body, and heart - you're on the right road!

Anchors away...

Patricia Delisha xxx

This is what it's all about...

This morning, I completely forgot I had to be out of the house by 7.00 to bring Vicky to her leadership class - despite the fact I have been doing this every Tuesday since September! So out I flew, still warm from bed - threw on my coat over my pyjamas - and away we went.

As we neared the school, we passed Lake Hill Elementary school. We pass this school every day as it is just beside St. Margaret's. However, today it was different - why? A circle of colour in the morning sky rested like a halo above Lake Hill - it simply took my breath away - quite unexpected. It was a profusion of the most beautiful shades of pink - fuschia, magenta and baby pink all delicately woven together with ribbons of gossamer, and sprinkled with fairy dust direct from heaven.

It was all very poignant because yesterday was also the 1st anniversary of the savage slaying of Lindsay Buziak, a stunningly beautiful Realtor - stabbed to death while showing a home. She was only 24 years old, bubbly, vivacious, and full of the joys of life. A year on, and still nobody has a clue who did it.

I thought of Lindsay especially this morning because Lake Hill Elementary is where she spent her childhood years. She would have happily swung from those same monkey bars I pass every day, and she would have raced down the slides with glee. A lively and effervescent little girl with a big smile and a big heart. Now the playground that once echoed her happy laughter was eerily silent (I guess it would at 7 in the morning!).

Her mother would have driven on the same road that I do every morning, and probably like me, would have had to fly out of the house in pyjamas to bring Lindsay to ballet class, and girl guides and all the things little girls do. They would have passed that same enormous weeping willow tree every morning - the one that gets a hair cut every Spring and probably wondered like we do - why on earth would anybody give a willow tree a blunt trim? - the limbs are supposed to hang down sadly - hence 'weeping willow'.

A year on, and I still think of Lindsay every time I pass Lake Hill school - I don't know why as I did not know her personally - but then look at the tomb of the unknown soldier in Paris - nobody knew him - yet his spirit lives on.

In the ten minute spin to and from the school, we also pass another poignant spot where two years ago, a 22 year old boy was knocked down and killed by a drunken driver as he stood on his skateboard waiting for the lights to go green. His parents keep his picture on the pole near where he was standing. Every day we pass that spot - sometimes four times a day, and we always say a prayer for the boy we call 'the skateboarder'. Recently I found out his name was Jason as curiosity brought me over to see his photo. He was a tall, handsome, fine cut of a lad with a big generous smile. Every day hundreds of kids pass by the spot where he died, as it is just beside Reynold's High School.

When I see the kids passing the place where he died, and laughing and especially at christmas time, I cannot help but think of him, and how he never got to live out his dreams. Like Lindsay - was it all meant to be? And what about Phil, another kid shot to death by a 16 year old kid after a silly row in a club this past summer. Phil was in second year psychology - just like our Ali. He was the only son of hard working Philipino emigrants. His father remembers teaching him how to drive when he was only 2! Phil was keen to turn the steering wheel all by himself. One day Vicky was buying a pair of jeans in American Eagle, where he had a part-time job and it was Phil who served her, with a smile - like his father before him, he was a hard worker and driven to succeed.

Fast forward to now - all three are dead - gone like dust in the wind...a sobering thought. Aged 20, 22 and 24 - and not another day more.

Man what a downer today's blog is!! - quite different from yesterday's - eh! I had no idea what was going to come out of me today - this is it folks - sorry if you find it depressing - It is depressing! Seeing Lindsay's smiling face all over the papers yesterday made me think of her and then seeing her school all lit up from heaven this morning, further drove home the message of the Transcience of Life...

I guess for me the moral of the story is - Life is a Bitch - You REALLY REALLY REALLY have to love your children, every second, every minute, and every breath of their existence - because youth is no guarantee of life...which brings me back to the point of this whole exercise - which is to try to simplify my life. You have to love your life and whatever it takes...do it!

The whole purpose of YOSA came back to me today when I opened up a page in Sarah Ban Breathnach's book - 'A Daybook of Comfort and Joy' - one I would highly recommend to everybody.

This is an excerpt - 'The Gratitude Journal' (January 14th)

'Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow...

On that lovely thought, I shall bid you all goodnight...sleep tight.

Patricia xxx

Charlie is me darlin'...

Charlie came...at 11.03 a.m. to be precise. There was no rude announcement - no door bell - no door knocker. (why the hell did I bother getting that fancy Big-Ben door bell when nobody ever uses it!) I was busy in the bowels of the basement looking for chihuahua droppings for fear the service man would drag some around the house - or worse! slip on it and sue me - since everything nowadays is 'KOMPO' - how else can people get paid during these 'hard times'.

Well thanks to the piercing efforts of Tallulah Conchita and Tequila Sunrise who barked the house down, I raced upstairs to find this giant of a man waiting for me. It was the serviceman for my dryer - at last! Having waited a week, three hours and 3 minutes for his arrival - I would have been - to say the least - 'disappointed' had I missed him. Lulu and Chi-Chi were delighted with themselves - it was all thanks to them - the best doorbell a girl could have. No way could I eat them now!! I asked him his name, as I find when you do that, you get a better service. 'Charlie' suited him as 'Bonnie' suited Dr. Endo's assistant. He was a Charlie guy - not a 'Charles' or 'Ignatius' or a 'Christian' type.

Charlie proceeded to put two little blue hats on his hoofs to protect my rug (which cost the earth to get cleaned at Xmas). So far he was doing everything tickety-boo and he called me 'Miss' as opposed to 'Mam'. We were indeed off to a good start. The two of us clippity clopped in unison down to the basement and I left him to it.

twenty minutes later he shouts up the stairs "I've fixed your noise Miss!". Well after 25 years of marriage K has never managed to 'fix my noise'. It was something about the way he said that. Sure enough he had fixed the noise and then politely informed me that it would help if I bought a heat vent for the back of the dryer - that way the fuzz would not be blowing back into my 'new' dryer - which caused it to black-out in the first place - of course he was very nice about it. Is a heat vent a luxury or a necessity? that I have to think about. When Charlie asked me to "Put your hand in here and feel the heat" I had to oblige -after all - he had fixed my noise. I duly stuck my hand into the dryer and yes - it did feel hot. Thank you Charlie.

Yes today the Universe was really conspiring to make it happen for me. Lulu and Chi-Chi had saved the day and I gave them two beggin' strips, two chewrifics as well as two marrobones each. Charlie had fixed my dryer - and wait - there's more - I got a cheque for $4,500 back from one of the schools - they had accidently double dipped for the past few months. They owed me $8,000 due to taking post-dated cheques and DD's. At least I'm paid up for the year and I get change - Yipee!

Why is it every time I decide to really look at my bank statement - I find a whooper of a mistake like that. It does me no good because then I worry about all the mistakes I must have missed in the past! I never check statements. Two more happened - one from each school - the other school sent me a statement charging $843 for a Doctor's visit! Claudia had to see a doc when she had a cold once. "What's DIS?" I asked. "But they said the doc was free mum" as the colour visibly drained from both our faces. I phone them up "oh that doesn't sound right, does it?" "No, it doesn't" I agreed. "We'll rectify it" and that was the end of that - no SAM I am MAM (sorry about mistake) - there's never a SAM I am MAM - ever. The third 'mistake' happened a day after the second one.
I was 'double charged' for a skirt I had to buy for Claudia - just as well I noticed it on time.

Why all the screw-ups? and the fact I double-booked two patients myself one day? - I'll tell you why - the planet Mercury was retrograde in the sky for the last few weeks - every time Mercury is retrograde stuff like that happens - it is classic Mercury retro stuff - classic! Like when you lose your watch and it turns up in a turkey's belly - that sort of stuff.

Anyway - all's well that ends well. Mercury is direct now - dryer is purring happily again - everything is tickety-boo...

Hope it's the same in your world.

Lots of Love,

Patricia Delisha xxx

Spread the good news...

Dear followers of my blog,

The more the merrier...I would SO SO SO appreciate if you could spread the good news. The first thing to do is become an official follower so I can see your handsome head appear. You do this by clicking 'follow this blog' underneath my picture and then just follow all the instructions. That way I get to know who is travelling this bumpy road with me. Please feel free to post a few comments as well.

Love ya,

Delisha xxx

Monday Monday...I want to shoot them all down...down...down

Observing the Housewives of Orange County, CA, I thought the body weight of choice for women today was 98 lbs. It seems that number is dropping by the day. I was listening this morning to a group of women discuss the super bowl game on t.v. last night. One woman bemoaned the fact she had gone to a super bowl party and the only thing she remembers about the game is that she put on 5 lbs. - to which one lady responded "that's what happens when you eat the hostess".

Yes folks - you learn something new every day!

I'm sitting here waiting patiently for a service - to my dryer that is. The man was supposed to be here anytime between 8 a.m. and 5.00 p.m. Wonderful "So does that mean I have to sit around all day looking out for him and miss a day's work in the office?" - we've all been there. After pleading and explaining that we have two new patients coming in this morning and that I REALLY must be in today - she grudgingly squeezed out "O.K. missus - he'll be there some time between 8 am and 12.00 noon. that's the best I can do for you". Two hours and twenty minutes have passed and no sign of 'the one'. Besides that dryer was only bought in July. It's like Fluffy my rabbit downstairs - they all have 'attitude' now.

The roads were krazy out there this morning - I admit, I was probably contributing my bit to the mayhem. I had three passengers today - lover boy because he left his car at work on Friday, going direct to the sea plane to whizz him off to Vancouver. I had to be in three very different places within a space of 35 mins. - dropped C off first - then K - then onto V's school. It was tense and the roads reminded me of a scene from WW2 where a bomb is about to explode and people are running here there and everywhere like headless chickens - was it because of me? I hope not.

Then we realised there would be a clash of times on Wednesdays from now until May. Vicky has to be in the General Hospital every Wed. after school where she volunteers her time because she has to clock up 60 hours community service (no she didn't rob a bank or kick a senior) she is doing a leadership course at school and this is one of the requirements. I had forgotten Wednesdays are my horror days driving 2 hours in the car - the hospital drive is brutal - up and down a lunatic motorway - and people are way worse drivers than me - naturally! Some of them have the cheek to honk me on occasion - when I stop to let a poor unfortunate cat cross the motorway - honestly! there's no manners left in the world!

One young fellow met his death not too long ago, on the same road, when another motorist didn't stop to let him pass. The question was what was he doing trying to run across a busy road? At least the cat could dive beneath wheels and escape if he was lucky. (wednesdays are as bad as 8's because it is a mercury day which is polar opposite to my sign - which explains). Now Claudia is making her confirmation on May 10th and the only day they can do prep is Wednesdays after school - wait for it - the only way she can get to make her confirmation is if I will lead the class as they have only 3 youths making it! and nobody to instruct them. Yes Wednesdays have taken over from 8's at the moment.

No sign of the man - and the annoying thing is I could have driven Ali into her orthodontist appointment (yes it seems we're all visiting the teeth men these days). I could have driven her and saved her having to get two busses!) Don't you hate waiting around? Hopefully he'll come. Another day I was waiting like this for the window cleaner - all day - he NEVER came. Excuse? "forgot about it". Another one for the 'attitude' list.

At least all this is keeping me away from the shops...too busy for them. Yeah!
Gotta look on the bright side. Today is the start of week two...

Anchors away for another week on the high seas of adventure. Will the devil make me weaken? With Valentine's Day quickly approaching - the poor punters like myself are being assaulted daily with floating hearts and chocolates (man it's double punishment) and pink fluffy boas and jewellery for your loved one - and meals out, and music and everything (with the dwindling economy I can't say I blame the merchants for trying - Valentine Valentine Valentine - Spend Spend Spend - More More More. Reminds me of something Paul McCartney (it would be him!) once said:

"Buy Buy Buy says the sign in the shop window - Why Why Why says the junk
in the yard".

Or what about Bob's Hopeful wisdom "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it!". I can also understand the logic of that too - given today's fiscal fiasco.

Cheers,

Keep doing what you love - as long as it doesn't cost money - right?

Delisha xxx

Pardon me for a moment while I throw up...

Sun-day, as its name suggests should be a sunny day - right? (weather permitting of course!) All joyful, sunny and happy. You sleep, eat, pray and play. That's why it's not called 'Rainday' or Stormday' or 'Bankruptday'. The good lord when he planned the day, had it in mind that the Sabbath should be a day when we totally unwind, eat chicken pot pie, put the work boots away and replenish our batteries for the long week ahead and to get ourselves psyched up for MOONday - a day when most people feel tired, cranky and moody - which is why the Boomtown Rats with Sir Bob at the helm, had that big hit 'I don't like Mondays...I want to shoot them down...down...down'. In fact I frequently find myself singing that song in the car, as I drive sleepyhead passengers to school. To stay awake on those dark moonday mornings, my favourite road game is counting the fender-benders.

Today, Sunday started off as anticipated - sunny, deliciously decadent and peaceful. Lulu had been a good girl and did not pee in the bed lastnight so that was nice. Since my automatic coffee maker was still in Vancouver, I brewed it up myself and brought my steaming mug of delicious creamy coffee into the bedroom to enjoy. I filled the hot water bottle with fresh hot water and headed back into the snuggest place in town - bed! Normally when himself is around we listen to nice soft music like Cat Stephens and his gorgeous song 'Morning has broken' or the Eagles or even Leonard Cohen, though he usually sounds better at night with his sleepy, hypnotic voice. So anyway that was this morning.

Later I headed into the living room and turned on the t.v. to enjoy a bit of distraction while I ate my toasted muffin with organic blackberry jam - delish! (I am telling you this by way of explaining what a 'typical' simple abundance day should be like). I agree it is harder to do the SA thing with everybody rushing here and there on school mornings. You get better at it...

As soon as I turned on the noise box, all the bad stuff came shooting out at me like bullets - bang bang bang - (not too unusual these days when you turn on the telly) - Belgian massacre of innocents in Kindergarten, murder and savage beating of elderly lady for her pension and wedding ring, road death of 3 kids (14-16) - same age as two of mine - who bought an old crock of a car for a bit of adventure and ended up dead before they had even completed high school. Then the economy...the economy. Jeez...I thought to myself - why didn't I just keep listening to Cat Stephens!

I was trying to get happy again and then I saw it! - yes flicking the remote control, I stumbled upon a documentary about a girl who had just had a bust enlargement operation and was going out to buy new bras with her friend. "Do you think X will like it?" she asked her friend, as she tried on a black lace bra. "That's a given" the friend replied. The girl who had the operation was a gorgeous auburn haired young lady, with a slim figure and lovely eyes. It showed her before, and after the operation - there was really very little difference I thought. Then the evening came...and she got all dressed up in a glittery evening dress to meet 'The One'. When I saw him - I got such a let down! 'The One' or 'X' or 'King Kong' as I shall call him - was fat, slobbery, greasy and disgusting looking - he made Hulk Hogan look like an anorectic!

I thought to myself surely he must be a very nice fellow and that deep down beneath his fatty apron midriff - he had a heart of gold. Just like the beast in Beauty and the Beast. I was trying to help her out - mentally - you know what I mean. I suppose when he's testing her new coconuts tonight, she could always put a double bag over his face and an empty can of beans at the end of the bed to trap any melted fat, like I have in the kitchen when I am frying pork chops. Then 'X' opened his mouth and revealed the heart of a true MCP (male chauvinist pig). The first thing he said he did when she got 'the job' done was check the Playboy website and now he could proudly acknowledge she had the same statistics as a Playboy Bunny - exact! He now had his own living, walking, talking Playboy doll. Wonderful.

What did she get out of the bargain? Nothing - that I could see. He was delighted with himself - no diets for him - or enlargement operations, as he oinked down his gargantuan t-bone and belched up the beer. Why is life so unfair for females? I mean we are supposed to be the smarter gender and yet when I see stuff like that I wonder... Maybe she had dieted all her life and lost all her brain cells? There has to be an answer...

I have decided not to discuss anything as vulgar such as money on Sundays - After all, it is the Lord's Day. Suffice to say I have stuck to my guns - for the first time ever my purse remained as fat today as it was on Moonday - and never once did I return to the ATM machine for more...Trumpets please...(whisper - I saved at least $200 this week - no kidding!)

Sunday will be our Simple Abundance day. I know I promised to give you a recipe for vege lasagne and prayers and nice things. If you don't mind I will wait until tomorrow as I want to give my daughters a lecture on what not to bring home to Moma, by way of a Son-in-Law!

Slainte (Irish for good health).

Patricia Delisha xxx