Cruising down the Root Canal

Driving to the Endo this morning, I don't know which was bothering me more - the thought of what awaited me there, or the fact I had to pay him out $100 for a sneeze of his time! - $100 - just like that! Seeing the way I sweated and toiled to save $6 on 2 lbs of Starbucks breakfast beans - that would mean I would have to buy approx 33 lbs. of coffee to save that amount of money! Bah humbug!

To take my mind off my worries, I played my favourite road game - looking out for messages from my angels on the back of buses or trucks and sometimes I'll see them displayed on stickers in cars. Now I'm looking out for butterflies as well to assure me I'm on the right track. Doing this, I could see a plumber's van driving in front of me with the message 'Why go to bed with a drip?' and 'take me to your leaker...'. Now the 'take me to your leaker one' reminded me of another thing that happened to me on Wednesday which I forgot to mention.

There was fish sitting in the fridge for 5 days and I ate it!! Ali said it tasted "weird" so I ate it - couldn't bear the thought of throwing out nearly $8 dollars worth of good fish. Besides if they can survive on the fear factor eating worms and rancid meat in sour milk, well then I would too. Dentist Day I was lying on his couch and I got the most dreadful pain in my abdomen. Suffice to say...I needed the peoples plumber!! and all for the saving of a couple of dollars - well at least it went to a good cause and I am still here to tell the tale.

The minute I arrived at the Endo's, the annoyance about the $100 fee became like dust in the wind. He had an army of women working for him - three to be precise. So I had visions of the four of them sitting out on the grass dividing the spoils after I left - $25 for you, $25 for me...and then I didn't feel so bad about it. A smiling Bonnie (who lived up to her name) brought me into the Endo's surgery. What would happen if you had the face and body of the amazing hulk and your name was Bonnie? Somehow I have never come across that yet.

Anyway, Bonnie sat me down and lo and behold I could see my office building right in front of me outside the window - so weird - I could see the people going in and out. Was that Johnny X coming in early for his 10 am appointment? I recognised his coat. Bonnie proceeded to put the dreaded 10 ft sticks into my mouth to take X-rays. Prior to that she gave me a list of things they were going to do to me, and was I allergic to latex? not that I know, I don't wear condoms, and did I like to take anti-biotics before a procedure? I asked her to pass on that one. Later she told me I would be given a questionnaire to fill out, after the Endo had done his 3 seconds thing. Really Bonnie should have got the lion's share of my $100 - it's so unfair, especially when she's doing all the work!

Bonnie was being really helpful, while the Endo was doing the rounds (and making tons of nosh). Did I ever play with my teeth? she continued with a serious expression on her bonnie face, as if playing with your teeth was a bigger offence than not parking your car parallel to the meter. No that one was new to me too. I've heard of people playing with their toes, and their hair and...but teeth? By 'playing' she meant tickling your teeth with your tongue and that it can sometimes give you a tootache - Really? you learn something new every day.
Then Dr. Endo appeared with the mystique and grace of Obama himself. "How are we today?" I dunno about you Sir, but I've seen better days... My Gawd - he was young enough to be my grandson! He had eyes that made me realise I still have not entirely grieved for chocolate. There is still some residual longing for the brown stuff. His peepers were like my favourite chocolate rum truffles, when I used to eat them. Suddenly I had the urge for chocolate. If the eyes are the window to the soul...I wouldn't mind seeing the rest of his house - that was the Devil - not me who said that!! I'm a happily married woman thank you very much. You can look at the shop window but you don't have to buy...actually that ism is a bit too close to the bone at the moment!

Endo, with the heavenly eyes did all the usual tapping and freezing and said I was on 'the fence' as regards #17 - and he didn't know quite what to do - it could go away by itself and sometimes they do that and I should wait and see and if the pain continues, put some topical desensitizing agent on the tooth. Wonderful! if it does go away by itself then I wont have to fork out several hundreds of dollars for a journey down the root canal. Give me Paris or the Panama Canal for that matter - but not the Root Canal!

Endo left the room, leaving a pleasant fragrance and Bonnie busily proceeded to give me yellow forms to fill out, as promised, and hundreds of questions to answer and was I on a diet? none of their business - aren't women always on diets? Besides, why would they want to know that? Was I pregnant? - hopefully not - at my age it would be an immaculate conception. Then the questions became even more exploratory 'was I on the yin-yin diet?' or something like that. I asked Bonnie what that was and she said that it must be some dreadful diet that people go on but brushed it off as if it wasn't that important and besides, I didn't have the appearance of a mal-nourished woman.

My financial situation took an upbeat twist as I left the Endo's. My dental insurance will cover 80% of the fee and also I may not have to get a root canal done after all - hip hip Hooray! Oh yes, that reminds me I had forgotten to mention medical and dental expenses on my list of 'Essentials' in day one of this blog. That's another biggie for the list.

Still staying firm to my frugal lifestyle - I've been reborn - told ya and you didn't believe I'd stick to it - right? Well you're WRONG - wrong wrong wrong.

I had to make a quick trip to the supermarket this evening. This time I had a list and boy did I stick to it this time - better still EVERYTHING I bought had to be on sale. There was only one item not on sale - mushroom soup - so I got the cheapest brand 74 cents per can as opposed to the $2.99 container I usually got. I'll tell you how it tasted later. I am going to slice in fresh mushrooms into it and do my magic tricks with it. I'm deferring gratification on supermarketing until the big day next Tuesday when we have 10% off everything in Safeway. They do that for the first Tuesday of every month and call it 'Customer Appreciation Day'. In fairness, I always avail of that - even when I was a shopaholic I did it.

By the way, my toothache went away all by itself. Sometimes they play tricks on you - just like that. #17 - you are weird - totally weird!

I love y'all.

Be good to yourselves this day and don't forget customer appreciation day in your local supermarket - wherever you live.

Delisha xxx